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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Rabbit Wars: What I Expect From The Rabbits

Now that I've outlined my rules of engagement for the rabbit wars here at May Dreams Gardens, it is time to review what I expect from the rabbits.

Would the garden fairies please pass these rules along to the rabbits?


Rule no. 1 - No eating from the vegetable garden!

Rule no. 2 - If you must eat from the vegetable garden, then only eat weeds. There is plenty of henbit now and later this summer, you can eat the purslane.

Rule no. 3 - If you bite off the stem of a flower, don't leave it laying around for me to find it. Eat the evidence!

Rule no. 4 - Absolutely no having baby bunnies in the lettuce patch.

Rule no. 5 - Do your doo-dy business in the grass.

Rule no. 6 - You may eat as much grass as you'd like, just eat it evenly and not all in one spot.

Rule no. 7 - No parties. Only one rabbit allowed in the garden at a time.

Rule no. 8 - Eat the food in the trap and when the doors slam shut, remain calm and wait for me to come and take you to a better place. (A better place will not be someone's garden. It will be a big field or park.)

Rule no. 9 - Do not return to May Dreams Gardens should you happen to be relocated.

Rule no. 10 - Follow all the rules!

Seems reasonable to expect an animal with big ears and big hind feet to follow these rules, don't you think?

If they don't, I reserve the right to alter my own rules of engagement accordingly.

19 comments:

Robin (Bumblebee) said...

Let's circulate these rules so they get around too everyone. I'll add one for my garden -- "Don't taunt the little dogs so they bark incessantly and drive Mom crazy."

Oh, I've been meaning to drop a note. Yes, looking forward to meeting you live and in person at Spring Fling!

Robin at Bumblebee

Gail said...

Have you posted them, you know they need to know the rules!

You have a delightfully good attitude and great sense of humor.
Gail

SuzyQ said...

LOL! I haven't seen rabbits in our backyard yet, so hopefully they steer clear with the fence and dogs as a barrier - we will soon find out though! I have seen bunnies around the neighbor - though only a few.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

A rabbit couldn't find a dry spot to rest in my garden and anything edible to them is under water. Whine.... It will be awhile before I can get into the garden to see if any rabbit damage has occured.
I think your rules sensible. I hope the rabbits think so too.

Melanie said...

Carol, this was hilarious! As for rule number 4, that was always broken here until last year. My dog found every nest and thought she found some wonderful new toys.

Now about no. 5...don't you want them to poop in the veggie bed? That's some good fertilizer, never burns either. Mmmm, Calie the wonder-doodle says they're like raisinettes.

Mary said...

Rule #3 - Destroy the evidence! LOL! They can't get away with anything. The evidence is always there and it drives me NUTS.

My DOGS can't even keep them out of the gardens!

Good post - I needed a laugh tonight.

Cinj said...

Too funny! I needed a good chuckle. I think I need to post these for rabbits when I get my new garden going, so far they haven't been much of a problem here. I already have trouble with deer though.

Mel said...

Hahahaha, great post! :D

Leslie said...

But if they eat the grass (evenly!) they'll take away your fun...cutting the grass.

Meems said...

Wouldn't it be great if they only ate the weeds?

No. 7 should take care of No. 4. You really had me chuckling through all ten.

All this talk of rabbits is reminding me of when my kids had two of them as pets. My neighbor would come over and shovel the poo to amend her vegetable garden soil. Hmmmm... maybe you do want them to have a party?
Meems @ HoeandShovel

Frances, said...

Happy first day of spring, Carol! So glad you have educated rabbits that can read, ours are just country rabbits, don't need no learnin', only eatin'! ;->
Frances at Faire Garden

Eleanor said...

Our rabbit, Violet, is smart. She stays in her cage. However, the ferrets, may they rest in peace, could use their little hands to open cages, escape & terrify the neighbor's ducks. As far as outdoor bunnies, I haven't heard any complaints from the resident gardeners, so we must not be too bothered by them

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

LOL! If only rabbits could read. As a veteran of the Rabbit Wars, I can tell you they have no honor. They refuse to negotiate and appeasement only makes them bolder. Take back the garden!

Yolanda Elizabet said...

I hate to break it to you but wabbits can't read. I know, it baffles the mind, considering they eat so many carrots, but there you go. ;-)

Carol said...

Robin(Bumblebee), Absolutely, if it will help, please post these in your own garden!

Gail, Thank you, and I am hoping the garden fairies will let the rabbits now there are now some rules her at May Dreams Gardens that must be followed!

SuzyQ, Wait until you have a garden and something the rabbits want to eat, then let me know if they visit.

Lisa at Greenbow, I know what you mean. My garden is soaked, too, though I think you got way more than the three inches we got.

Melanie, I am going to leave rule number 5 "as is". I don't like the idea of rabbits doing that in my garden.

Mary, If Chloe and Bella can't keep rabbits out of your garden, is there hope for any of us?

Cinj, Now deer, that's a whole other problem, that luckily, I don't have.

Mel, Thank you and thanks for visiting.

Leslie, Good point on the lawn. I may have to amend that rule.

Meems, Do you have rabbits in Florida? Other than tame rabbits?

Frances, I imagine those country rabbits do eat a lot! I know the city rabbits do.

Eleanor, I think rabbits are afraid to go in your back yard!

Mr. McGregor's Daugher, What a great rallying call. I will indeed Take Back the Garden this spring.

Yolanda Elizabet, Rabbits can't read? That's why I hope the garden fairies tell them about the new rules!

Thanks all for the comments and joining in for the fun.

Carol, May Dreams Gardens

kate smudges said...

I especially like Rule 3 ... at least it wouldn't just seem like pure vandalism at play in the garden.

So far I've never had to deal with rabbits in the garden - thankfully. My garden would be history if my dog ever started chasing rabbits through the flower beds.

Let's hope that, during the Easter season, the fairies hold a reunion of all garden rabbits and make them memorise these rules.

Happy Easter and may all the rabbits in your life this year be chocolate ones!!

Shady Gardener said...

Very cute post, Carol! And, I hope that Kate Smudges gets her chocolate for Easter! ;-)

Diana said...

Ah, Carol, I thought of you this morning when Kallie posed proudly with her chocolate bunny -- I posted about it -- wish this was what you had instead.

Sarah said...

I love your rules. I didn't have a veggie garden last year, and this year I'm watching the bunny getting closer and closer to my fence. I'm hoping it will 'disappear' when the foxes arrive, as has happened every year since moving here.
~Sarah