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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What the Plants Are Really Saying.


A little chatter overheard amongst the various indoor plants here at May Dreams Gardens…

“Oh, look, I’m blooming! I’m so pretty and I love my name. 'Blossom Peacock’. Don’t I look just divine, ready for a big ol’ par-tee! Really, I’m just the prettiest… Oh no! I don’t have any leaves. Oh dear. Oh my. How will I ever regenerate my bulb if I don’t have any leaves. I hope I get some soon… Oh goodness. This is embarrassing. Help! Can anyone help me!? I need leaves.”

“Excuse me. Carol. That’s your name, right? Carol, you can see that I’m done blooming, can’t you? If you can, and I know that you can, could you please cut off this bloom stalk so I don’t set seed? Really, I don’t have energy for both seeds and bulb rejuvenation. It’s one or the other. It’s confusing to know which one you want if you leave this bloom stalk. Could you please cut it off? For crying out loud, you aren’t taking a picture of me looking like this, are you!?”

“Hey, what’s it take to get a drink around here? I’m parched. I think the dirt in my pot is shrinking away from the sides of the pot. Come on, I’m dying for some water here.”

“Water? Are you kidding me? Water? Seriously? My roots are sitting in cold, murky water. I think I’m developing a fungus and I can’t breath. Can someone take away this saucer full of water? I’m no expert, but I think that’s the problem.”

“Carol. Over here. Can you check that plant next to me? It just doesn’t look right. I think it has mealybugs or something. Can you move it into the other room? I am so susceptible to those darn mealybugs, you know that, right? Hurry, I see something crawling toward me!”

“I can’t see! It is so dark in here. Did Carol forget to open the blinds again? Geez, that’s the only thing we ask of her in the morning and she can’t even get up early enough to do that before she leaves for work. I need my light. We all need our light. If we band together…”

“Hey! Stop dropping those leaves on me! Get your branch away from me, this is my space. Carollllll, it’s getting kind of crowded over here. I want my own window!”

“I’m blooming! I think I’m the first one. Is there a prize for being first? Did I make it in time for bloom day? Huh, did I? Mmmmmm. I smell delicious, if I do say so myself. Aren’t I pretty! What’s my name? Do I have a name? Hey, when I’m done blooming, what’s going to happen to me? Compost bin? What's that? Oh, dear. I don’t think I want to know! I'll think about that tomorrow. I'm so pretty and pink...”


Hey all you plants. Keep it down. I’m trying to write a blog post here. For the love of blooming radishes, can you just give me five minutes of peace and quiet? Thank you.

20 comments:

Leslie said...

Demanding little devils aren't they? But you've got to love them..they keep us going!

Anonymous said...

That gave me a true belly laugh!! Tooo funny. I think you should write a children's book or a comic strip with that one. I loved it. Thanks for the good mood before i go to bed.

Stevie from GardenTherapy.ca said...

AHAHAHHA. Great post! I needed that.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

What a lively bunch of plants you have Carol. Sounds like they hang out with the garden fairies a lot.

Hank Moorlag said...

Very funny! A great way to start my day. Thanks for this wonderful piece of creative writing. Hank

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

I love it! I'm so glad I can't hear mine - they'd all be haranguing me for water.

healingmagichands said...

I think my plants are having the same conversation. Especially the one about bugs -- I noticed that my diffenbachia has some aphids on it. Time for a shower.

Teresa O said...

What a silly, fun, delightful post! I agree, you have a children's book in you just begging to get out!

Commonweeder said...

It makes me a little nervous to think what my plants might be saying about me.but maybe we could all have a good laugh together.

Amy said...

I enjoyed your post in "plant person". I am just glad my dogs can't talk to me or they would probably yell at me with their wants...:/ ~Amy

Melanie said...

What fun, talking plants , very entertaining.

Kelly@LifeOutOfDoors said...

Love the photo of Amarillis #2. So encouraging that other people's plants can look this way to. Thanks for sharing the beautiful and the not so beautiful.
Kelly

garden girl said...

Here when their complaints get too loud, I just close the basement door and ignore them!

CONEFLOWER said...

What a cute post! You are so clever and your points are all well taken. Thanks for some smiles.

Rose said...

So that's what all that muttering is I hear late at night. I thought we had ghosts in the house:) I'm surprised my plants aren't shouting at me.

Wendy said...

Oh I think your plants and mine might just be chatty cousins or something. Mine talk all the time too! Well, they are alive.

Loved this post - it "spoke" to me. LOL!

Andrea said...

I love the gardening styles in bottles like the last photo. It seems very simple and orderly. I wish we can do that here, we always use soil or other media aside from water in doing so. By the way, I am inviting you to see my amaryllis hedges.http://abagillon.blogspot.com/2009/12/hedges-delights.html. And please tell me what my flowers tell you about themselves. e.g. "we are very happy where we are!"

hehe, thanks.

EAL said...

Ha. I can almost hear them. Great post!

suvi0911 said...

I think you should write a book. You've got a great imagination and a way with words. :-)

Andrea said...

hahaha that's funny and cute. Those bulbs on the water are really sending very beautiful flowers. We only have amaryllis here, not those wonderfully flowered ones, what do you call them...the pink flowers who emerged first? haha