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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dr. Hortfreud Returns For Spring Therapy Sessions

A spring session with Dr. Hortfreud.

Good evening, Carol. I figured you would show up this evening. You always do when it is nice outside like today. Are those seed packets you have in your hand?

Hi, Dr. Hortfreud. Yes, these are the lettuce seeds. I’m growing nine varieties this year.

Carol, that’s quite a lot. What happened?

Well, seed ordering happened, I guess. It seemed like everyone I ordered from had some interesting lettuce varieties that I wanted to try with names like ‘Red Deer Tongue’, ‘May Queen’ and ‘Tango’. So I ordered a few packets from one company, a couple more from someone else and then the next thing you know, I have nine varieties of lettuce. It’s really not my fault, though. It’s the fault of those who write those descriptions in the seed catalogs.

I see. Well, we’ll have to meet over a nice salad in a few months and discuss your tendency to blame others for all the seeds you buy. But right now, I want to talk to you about the Garden Designer.

Yes, what about the Garden Designer?

I’m just surprised after our therapy sessions that you decided to do that, to bring in a Garden Designer. Isn’t our therapy helping you reshape the garden?

Oh, Dr. Hortfreud, don’t take offense, but you and I neither one have much of an eye for garden design. And even if we did, it seems like it was taking forever for us to work out a design through all these therapy sessions.

But you do find our therapy sessions useful don’t you? And you plan to continue them even through the garden design process?

Yes, absolutely! In fact, I think we’ll have much better sessions knowing that the garden design is being taken care of. In fact, I anticipate there will be a need for even more therapy sessions as we start to actually make changes in the garden for the new design.

Good, I think so, too. Now let’s talk about this book the Garden Designer left for you to read.

Sure, what did you want to talk about, Dr. Hortfreud?

You seem quite interested in it.

Yes, I am.

Well, for our next session, let’s go more in-depth into why you like the book. For now, our time is up and I know you want to get inside to sow tomato, pepper, and eggplant seeds. By the way, how many tomato varieties are you growing this year, Carol?

Thirteen.

Thirteen! Please don’t tell me they are in alphabetical order in the flats.

Well, um, okay. I won’t tell you that. But I will say the eight varieties of peppers are not in alphabetical order at all and the two varieties of eggplant are either in alphabetical order or reverse alphabetical order, depending on how you look at them in the flat.

Carol, it is my professional opinion that you are going to need a lot more therapy, even with the Garden Designer. I’m recommending we re-start from the beginning with an extended session on Saturday. Hopefully, you can mow the lawn that day, I mean make a therapy appointment that day.

Mow the lawn? Saturday! It’s a deal! In the meantime, I’ll work on finishing up the book the Garden Designer left me. Thank you for all of your help, Dr. Hortfreud.

12 comments:

Helen Yoest @ Gardening With Confidence™ said...

Dr. Horfreud is an your lawn mowing enabler! Shame, shame. H.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Such neat little squares for your lettuce. The good Dr would be impressed.

Gail said...

Alphabetical order~That never occurred to me! gail

Robin Ripley said...

Oh, I need some mowing therapy! What good advice.

~Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

I just left a comment at digginfood about making a list of all the new lettuce varieties I'm reading about on everyone's blogs this spring. I may need Dr. Hortfreud's help next year! Enjoy those salads.

Stevie from GardenTherapy.ca said...

haha - this is so funny. They should do a Hoarders show for us gardeners who buy too much from seed catalogs. Me, I bought a million varieties of tomatoes from the farmers market last fall, and saved the seeds. So I have, um, 15 or so tomato varieties. Which becomes even more ridiculous in my tiny urban garden!

HappyMouffetard said...

Brilliant! and your confessions havemade me feel less bad about my own seed buying tendencies.

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

Geez - I was worried about buying two varieties of red lettuce seeds. Have fun sowing all those seeds.

Christine B. said...

What is this absorbing book you're willing to mow the lawn for?

Christine in Alaska

Jess said...

It's going to be one fabulous salad one day, despite what that lawnmower/counselor says!

Rose said...

I think Dr. Hortfreud has met his match:) I would make fun of you for the nine varieties of lettuce you ordered, Carol, but I seem to have gotten similarly carried away with seed ordering and swapping. I might just have a whole garden of cosmos this year:) I could use a session with the good doctor myself, except tonight what I really need is a good masseuse--my first day of actual work in the garden, and my body is feeling it.

Helen at summerhouse said...

Oh dear, we are starting seeds for four kinds of squash and we don't have room for that many! They just seemed so pretty....