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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Witnesseth

From the Law Firm of
Hortley and Hortson

WITNESSETH

WHEREAS, it is likely that a record will be set in Indianapolis this year for the driest June in recorded history with just .05 inches of rain, breaking the record of .36 inches of rain set in 1988;

WHEREAS, the extended weather forecast calls for excessive high heat with temperatures topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit on Thursday and Friday;

WHEREAS, the outlook for the remainder of the summer is unknown.

THEREFORE, all gardeners who have not yet done so are advised to switch from watering plants so that they will flourish to watering plants so that they will survive.  Gardeners are further advised to dispense with any new planting until such time as rain returns. Those who chose to plant now do so at their own risk and hereby hold harmless all others.

FURTHERMORE, all gardeners who have not mulched should consider mulching planted areas of the garden after thoroughly watering those areas but to refrain from such physical activity as mulching during the hottest parts of the day.

IN ADDITION, all gardeners are reminded that most bluegrass lawns naturally go dormant during the hottest months of the year, and they should water lawns sparingly and accept that tan is the new green and grass can survive as long as the crowns of the plants remain green.

SIGNED AND WITNESSED on this 27th day of June in the year 2012 BY:

F. Lee Hortley, Esq.
Fairy Hortson, Esq

6 comments:

Katie @ Wildwood Creek said...

I couldn't agree more!

Fairegarden said...

Duly noted and recorded. We are watering for survival now here in Tennessee as well. Time to hunker down and hold on until rain comes back. I hope it does come back sometime soon.

Frances

Gail said...

This should go into the law books~gail

Reed Pugh said...

We, on the other hand, in Boston have had so much cloud cover and rain that my lawn has become a veritable mushroom factory. I am mowing them over like bowling pins. Today will be in the mid-70s and lightly humid... very odd for July 4th weekend.

Helen Malandrakis said...

I wholeheartedly agree!

Diana said...

Words of wisdom. I heard you got some rain yesterday (and some crazy, scary weather). Did you get all that down there? Our temps dropped, but still no rain. I think I'll print out your Resolution and tape it to my fridge!