Tuesday, August 30, 2016
List of ten clues to determine if you might have an eccentric gardener living next door
Now, don't spend too much time trying to figure out how I can provide such a list. Just go through the list and answer yes or no about your neighbors.
And as you go through the list, you might also see if any of these ten clues apply to you. If so, you might be that eccentric gardener the other neighbors are talking about.
The list of ten clues to determine if you might have an eccentric gardener living next door, in no particular order...
- She has a set of gardening clogs at every entrance to her house and garage, so that at a moment's notice, she can be outside in her garden, perhaps to chase a rabbit or scare a squirrel away from her recently germinated green beans.
- When you see her lying on her stomach in the grass, you don't panic and call for help. You just wait a minute or two, and sure enough, she soon gets up after taking whatever picture of the garden she thought should be taken at ground level.
- She often spends afternoons in the fall sitting on the lawn, jabbing it repeatedly with a long, narrow trowel as she plants another couple hundred bulbs for spring lawn flowers.
- No matter how early you get to the local greenhouse to buy spring violas and pansies, you are never earlier than she is. By the time you think to buy spring flowers, she's already gotten her flowers, planted them up, and given them individual names. You swear the owner of the greenhouse must call her to let her know they are ready, and it turns out, they do.
- When you see how many gardening tools and hoes she has hanging in her garage, you wonder if she has set up a shop to sell them from home.
- When UPS brings her packages, nine times out of ten they are marked "Live Plants". The tenth package looks suspiciously like the shape of a hoe.
- She has a truck decorated with bumper stickers with sayings like "#GARDENING", "Practice random acts of gardening", and "CROP".
- Whenever she is outside, she has a holster clipped to her side pocket to hold her pruners.
- You see as much of her backside as her face when she's outside because she seems to always be leaning over pulling a weed, smelling a flower, or just looking at something in the garden.
And the last clue, at least for now, that you might have an eccentric gardener living next door...
- She always smiles when it rains.