
Was she accusing me of getting lazy about doing my own gardening?
I assure you that this is the only "potato" on my porch, an ornamental sweet potato vine, Ipomoea batatas 'Sweet Caroline Bronze'.
My sister's comment does remind me that there are several types of "wanna be" gardeners, including:
The afore-mentioned "Porch Potato Gardener". A person who sits on their porch and mostly watches as others do the gardening, including everything from mowing the lawn to mulching, planting, and trimming. Perish the thought that I should ever become such a gardener!
The "Point and Tell 'em Where to Plant It Gardener". A person who gets off the porch and out in to the garden but doesn't do the actual work. They let others do all the dirty work, and then they follow along a few months later and delicately cut a few flowers to take inside. These people tend to read all about plants and know what they want in their garden and where they want it, they just let others do the actual planting. They have no grass stains on their jeans.
The "Plant and Fizzle Gardener". A person who gets all wild-eyed and garden-happy in the spring and spends time planting annuals and filling containers with all kinds of plants, but then loses interest and fizzles out like a dud firecracker around the 4th of July, when it starts to get all hot and buggy outside. These people might also own boats and campers and just end up leaving the garden right around the time when it needs some attention to make it through the summer.
The "Plant and Vegetate Gardener". A person who is similiar to the "Plant and Fizzle" gardener except they plant up a big vegetable garden, but then let it be overtaken by weeds and rabbits and never end up harvesting anything that they can eat. I think this is the kind of gardener that homeowners' associations are trying to stop when they put in their covenants "no gardens".
The "Wrong Season Gardener". A person who sees tulips in the spring and searches garden centers for tulips to plant right then. They don't know enough about plants to realize tulip bulbs are planted in the fall. However, isn't it nice that the nursery industry is accomodating them by now selling pots of tulips ready for spring planting?
The "Too Small Gardener". A person who has the right idea but for some reason every bed and plant border they dig is too small or too narrow. They are enthusiastic but don't think on a big enough scale. They may dig a planting strip in front of their house that is only a foot wide, and if they mulch around trees, they do so with a ring of mulch that extends out six inches from the trunk of the tiny little tree they planted. This is probably someone who can be 'saved', who can be coached and mentored to become a real gardener.
I suspect that any person reading this post is NOT one of these types of gardeners. You all are enthusiastic gardening geeks who do most of your own gardening (as long as you are physically able to do so).
But every once in a while, wouldn't it be nice to sit on a bench on the porch and watch someone else do the heavy lifting and digging?

Comments
And Plant and Fizzle gardener is a little too close to the truth for comfort . . .
I'm guilty of being a "plant and fizzle gardener", especially when I lived in the south. I am fair complected and allergic to the sun so I try to avoid it. (Is that a good enough excuse?)
I'm not a "too small gardener", because I usually bite off more garden that I can manage.
The green bench is beautiful. I believe that is the most attractive colored bench I've seen.
BTW...Carol has always had a gift for writing, but has never done anything with it. Maybe we can encourage her to actually write something and publish it...
Lisa at Greenbow
I like to do as much of the gardening work as I can. I'm afraid that I'll have to hire someone to move my Wisteria standard this Fall because it is too big for me to handle and I'm still recovering from foot surgery .
Your post was hilarious and I'm sure than many of us recognize how close we come to some of the types you described.
I'll expect another stunning patch of rudbeckia next summer.
The key to making new beds is lasagna gardening. It takes much of the heavy work out of the equation.
Heather... Yes, it is great to have someone to help, who will laugh at the funny things gardeners try to do.
Layanee... I know what you mean. My bench is "gently used" these days. Too much gardening to do.
Blackswamp_Girl... No trunkfuls of manuscripts here, just a garage full of gardening tools and shelves full of books. That is one of the nicest comments I've every gotten, thank you!
Kathy... Knowing is the first step toward conquering. I used to be a Too Small Gardener. I think every gardener starts out that way.
Ki... You can stay in the garden bloggers' corp because at one time I think we all were/are these types of wannabe gardeners.
Robin's Nesting Place... Thanks for the compliment on the bench. It was a "country blue" when I bought it and I repainted it a few years ago. I think many of us fizzled a bit around here this year, with twice as many days above 90 degress than normal!
Ottawa Gardener... Aren't all of us plant freaks like that? I'll have to remember that one.
Jodi... How wonderful to have a built in excuse for getting too many plants!
Leslie... I agree, just keep planting, when the time comes that you need help, you'll figure out something. No sense cutting back on the gardens too soon.
Curtis... Good for you!
Me... Glad you enjoyed the descriptions. Who knows how the mind of a porch potato works?
Sister with the Homestead... Yep, you are busted, but thanks for the nice compliment.
Lisa at Greenbow... I like that, ten acre imagination for a quarter acre lot!
Carolyn Gail... Yes, those sisters... and you are right that we all walk that fine line when we garden.
Mary... You know I'm thinking about hiring a landscaper, but given your experience, I might have to rethink that, or make sure to get some good references.
Eleanor... Yearbooks count!
Daria... I've seen those gardens with bags of mulch laying here and there for months on end. Too funny!
Thanks all for the kind words and comments!
Carol at May Dreams Gardens
You don't seem like the "porch potato" type to me. I think you should NOT feel guilty about having someone else do a bit of the grunt work. Nope, not at all. You already do mre in your garden than many people who call themselve gardeners. ;-)
Dirty Knees... Thanks, I'm still considering someone to come in and dig those beds. Then all my time can be spent planting!
Thanks for the comments,
Carol at May Dreams Gardens