Another Quarterly Report from MDG

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind., October 14, 2008 – In the interest of full disclosure, management is once again providing this quarterly report on the operational activities and overall production outlook for May Dreams Gardens (GSE-MDG).

This report covers the time period from July 1, 2008 through September 30, 2008. The previous report covered the time period from April 1, 2008 through June 30, 2008, and may be cross-referenced to this one for a clearer assessment overall.

In the area of mowing, as of the end of September 2008, the lawn had been mowed 36 times which was fewer times than anticipated, thus resulting in a conservation of energy on the part of the gardener and a reduction in fuel costs compared to predictions. However, as there was very little rain in August and September the reduced fuel costs were offset by an increase in water costs, due to supplemental watering.

Production activities in the vegetable garden continued but with an overall decrease in production due to the lack of rain. Tomato production was down compared to previous years and the first tomato arrived much later than anticipated, yet still a record was set for the World's Ugliest Tomato.

It was noted that in the third quarter, a new video division of May Dreams Gardens was spun off, with mixed results.

In the area of expense and income, it was noted that the 3rd quarter is traditionally a time of revenue in the form of fresh vegetables as all the raw materials in the form of seeds, soil, and plants begin to bear fruit and indeed, the increased production did offset the expenses, as anticipated. However, it is noted that accounting procedures are quite lax at May Dreams Gardens and this financial analysis is based on sheer conjecture on the part of the head gardener, who, truth be told, does not like to track expenses spent on the garden.

It was also noted that overall flowering was good through most of the quarter, as noted in various Garden Bloggers' Bloom Day posts for July, August, and September. A particular highlight was the blooming of the night-blooming cereus in July.

The October report to be filed for Garden Bloggers’ Bloom Day on October 15th will show some new flowers, but future bloom posts for the quarter may be more colorful if leaves are considerd as blooms for those months.

Management and staff were noted to be more absent from the garden during the dry, hot days of August and September, which resulted in the lack of completion of some necessary gardening tasks such as mulching. And weeding. However, with a concentrated effort in the 4th quarter and an embrace of hard work, it is presumed that the garden can get squared away before winter arrives in December.

As in the past quarter, all of management and staff are encouraged to continue to look for opportunities to learn more and bring this knowledge back to the garden, while at the same time completing the plant catalog of the garden and the gardener’s life list to provide focus, as time permits.

Analysts believe there should be windows of opportunity (WOO) to complete these activities, but are not optimistic about planned garden expansion.

However, analysts are optimistic that May Dreams Gardens, the blog, will reach a particular milestone within the quarter and management is encouraged to allow for a brief celebration of this event when it occurs.

(The forward-looking statements included in this release are made only as of the date of this release, and we undertake no obligation to update any of them to reflect subsequent events or circumstances.)

How’s your garden doing?


Shibaguyz said…
You're cracking us up here! What a great post. You have no idea that I just submitted something like this last week. LOL
Frances said…
Hi Carol, this is defininely where you shine, rising to your subject like a professor to adoring students. I could read it several times and find something new to laugh at each time. I did go back and read your post about cataloging your plants. What a supreme undertaking but one that would really help with remembering lots of plant facts. I especially liked the aging in the basket on the hearth.
Lancashire rose said…
Very witty. I'm certainly glad I don't have to produce a quarterly report. I'm afraid that someone would find out I was over budget and I'd be up in front of the under gardener.
Gail said…
Morning Carol, A good way to start the day, with a clever post and a few laughs. Now off to gather my flower photos while I can...the 15th is tomorrow!

Oh dear, my quarterly report would have to be dry garden, blooms slowing down, leaf color up. And the gardener had more time this summer and did less than in other years. Go figure.

However, I did just happen to post Monday and today about my plant catalog methods (which you can access at Just read about yours and I'm here to report that my cataloging is going better at the moment than my gardening. Also have 10 years of garden journals that more or less constitute life lists also as per your past post.

It is such a pleasure to get up in the morning and read your blog — after I've checked out my garden, of course!
If I made out a quarterly report for Zanthan Gardens, I'd probably discover that we went bankrupt this quarter and are out of business. So perhaps it is better not to delve to closely into the books until we are out of the red. Or maybe I can get a government bailout.
Costs overruns, excessive spending, low returns. Thats what mine would reference. Great post, very inventive, got a great laugh from it.
Wonderful post Carol. I am unhappy to announce that my garden is dry as dust and smells like rotten apples. The only ones appreciating this are the butterflies.
chaiselongue said…
A little early because I'm going away, but I've posted my Garden Bloggers' Bloom Day pictures.
All the best for the next quarter!
I design annual reports for a living. I find this post painful, clever and well done, yes, but painful to me.
Sue said…
I am new to blogging, but not gardening. I don't remember where I saw photos for a bloom day, but in trying to figure it out, found this site. I love it! This report was a treat to read. I like the way you added links to other entries. I really like the one about gardeners being eccentric. We do spend time doing things those without the interest have no desire or willingness to do.

I have over 100 pics I took today, that I need to edit down to those I want to post. I am looking forward to seeing those of others!
Layanee said…
Your organization skills astound but what I really love is the view through your window. Lovely!
Cindy, MCOK said…
I hope management will find plenty of activities to keep the head gardener and staff both happy productive during their winter hiatus!
Squirrelhaven has produced a surplus of mosquitoes and of Anemone 'Andrea Atkinson' this quarter. We don't even want to look at the expenses. This is definitely a Not For Profit operation.
Ottawa Gardener said…
I feel out of my depth to respond except to say that in this time of economic uncertainity it is good that at least someone has the lingo down.
joco said…
Hiya Carol,

My report on your garden, garden management and garden writing skill: ten out of ten.
Jean said…
Too funny! (I'm glad we don't really have to do those.)
lisa said…
Hi Carol! My Bloom Day post is here. Happy Bloom Day! :) (BTW, you are my ABSOLUTE favorite garden blog writer, bar none!)
lisa said…
Ooops! I see that I left my Bloom Day comment in the wrong spot...sorry! :)
GardenBloggers said…
Hilarious post. I LOL'ed all the way through.