And Now... A Funny Hoe Story

And now it is time to tell my funny hoe story, the one I was going to tell at the last "Society" meeting before I ran out of time.

I will attempt to keep it family friendly as though I am telling it to my eight year old nephew, the one who is going to review The BugFarm™, a new “DVD-Rom simulation game that teaches children 7+ about gardening and the insect world”. All he needs is for me to remember to take the DVD to him so he can actually try it out. Then he can write a guest post!

Anyway, hoe stories have a funny way of being mis-interpreted because the garden tool “hoe” rhymes with another word that means something else to some people. Actually, it sounds exactly like another word that is spelled like “hoe” but without the “e” on the end.

You know you are a gardening geek, by the way, when someone says “hoe” and you immediately think of a garden tool. You know you are my gardening geek friend if someone says “hoe” and you immediately think of me, because of my hoe collection, of course. Why else? Really, let’s bring it back around to gardening now. Focus here, I’m trying to tell a hoe story.

Where were we? Oh, right. The funny hoe story.

I was telling some people last week about some of the superstitions related to gardening and they asked for some examples. So, I told them how you aren’t supposed to thank someone when they give you a free plant, as in a passalong plant, because if you do, the plant won’t grow. I know it is hard to not thank someone for a free plant, but try. Why take chances? Use other phrases of gratitude, like “I have just the place for that”.

Most gardeners will understand.

So continuing with my funny hoe story…

Then I told them about how it is supposed to be bad luck to carry a hoe into the house, but if you do, you should carry it out the same door or “death will follow”. Now, when I posted this before, some people asked why anyone would carry a hoe into their house. Don’t ask, but I have two hoes in my house right now. One of them in the sunroom, the other resting on the fireplace hearth. In fact, I once listed five reasons you might have a hoe in your house. Honestly, I didn't think it was that unusual to have a couple of hoes in your house, until I read about that superstition.

Now, in case you don’t recognize it as such, this next part is the funny part of the hoe story…

At which point, one of the guys says, “If I carried a hoe into the house, it wouldn’t matter which door or window I carried her it out, there would definitely be a death to follow! Mine!”

Huh. His wife must really not like him to have garden tools in the house.


  1. I'm sure there has been a hoe in my house cause I'm sure not leaving it out in the rain. My hoes are too expensive. ;)

  2. LOL, Carol, true garden geeks will have to think a moment to get the humor in this anecdote:) And yes, for the past year and a half whenever anyone talks about hoes, I immediately think of you:)

  3. There's never been a hoe in my house, Carol, cause I'm from a long line of superstitious Southerners who like to keep the hoes in the barn.

    Didja see the Jeopardy episode where the $400 answer was " This term for a long-handled garden tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker " and the contestant said, " What is a hoe ?" Loud sound of buzzer. Wrong! " What is a rake ? ", the winner replied.

    Hoes and Rakes. Sounds like Garden porn to me :-)

  4. Some people get all wigged out when I mention trees and shrubs as w-o-o-d-i-e-s, which means something else to them, and it's not one of those cute little, wood-sided station wagons of surfing movie fame.

  5. Good story, Carol, and well told. LOL. You're going to be shocked at this.... I don't own a hoe!! Can you imagine? I have shovels and rakes and trowels, and pruners and even a pick axe but no hoe. I wonder how I dare face another gardner? :-) Or worse yet, how do I face this blog again. Woe is me, with no hoe....

  6. Thanks for making me smile today, I really needed it. Funny story! I never met a hoe I didn't like.
    Joe Ellen, you are cracking me up too!

  7. His wife must not be a gardener. Tee hee..

  8. Fun post as always. Your humor is always enjoyable and true to life. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. Thanks, I needed that!

    (Would you believe I don't have a single hoe? Everything's covered with bark, which makes hoe use complicated.)

  10. The funniest thing about this story is that after all its convoluted twists and turns (or perhaps because of them), I actually ended up laughing out loud. That's writing for you.

    And yes. When someone mentions hoes I always assume the garden tool and I always think of you.

  11. Cute post!! You and your hoe collection. You get so much mileage off the word hoe!!


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