The Five Secrets to Achieving Happiness In Your Garden

I have discovered the five secrets to achieving happiness in your garden.

One day last spring, I found a key and used it to unlock the door to a long-ago abandoned garden shed. As I opened the door, a ray of sunlight fell upon an old potting bench, and on that bench was a small, non-descript book bound in green leather with gold writing. I picked up the book, blew the dust and potting soil off the cover, and gave it a gentle swipe with my hand to reveal the title, “The Five Secrets to Achieving Happiness in Your Garden”. My hands shook as I slowly opened the book and began to read…

Well, that’s not exactly how I discovered the five secrets to achieving happiness in your garden.

One evening I was sitting by the fireplace as the last of the embers were burning themselves out. I must have dozed off but awoke suddenly and was startled momentarily to see five garden fairies standing around me in a semi-circle. Each one was carrying a scroll. One on by one, they slowly opened their scrolls and began to explain the secrets written on them. They allowed me to ask questions until I felt like I finally understood the five secrets to achieving happiness in your garden. After the fifth fairy had shared the last secret, I realized that the fire had died down completely. Though the room was cold, I immediately jumped up and grabbed paper and pen to write down the five secrets…

No, wait, it wasn’t quite like that.

I actually discovered the five secrets to achieving happiness in your garden after years of therapy with Dr. Hortfreud. She patiently listened to me talk in session after session, until finally I jumped up and said “Blooming radishes, I’ve figured out the five secrets to achieving happiness in your garden!” She almost fell out of her chair when I did this, but recovered quickly and helped me to put the final touches on the five secrets. She’s required to keep our sessions confidential, but I’m allowed to tell the five secrets to anyone who is ready to hear them.

And now…

The Five Secrets to Achieving Happiness in Your Garden…

Oh my! Look at the length of this blog post. Look at the time! I really must hurry along and water some house plants. I do apologize! I promise I’ll post about The Five Secrets to Achieving Happiness in Your Garden very soon.

Thank you in advance for your patience!


  1. As I sit holding my breath waiting on the 5 secrets... now what? LOL enjoyed it.

  2. I think you would be a good Tonight Show hostess if Conan O'Brien won't take it!

  3. I'm sitting on the egde of my potting bench here....

  4. Oh you have outdone yourself with this one Carol! obviously the cold temps have sharpened your skills. Not that they needed sharpening, mind you. :-)

  5. OK, I'm listening.

  6. Next time, grab those darn fairies and tie them up to a chair. It might help to have a video camera & duct tape ready at all times, then you can get the 5 secrets on tape.

  7. Carol, your sense of humour just cracks me up. It's better for me than my morning cup of fairly traded coffee! I'm hoping the temperatures are milding up nicely and that you stop teasing and share your secrets soon. ;-)

  8. What a hoot! Thanks for the giggle this morning.

  9. As a new blogger I was much amused by your post. And such a welcome change from pictures of a snow bound Britain! I do hope(!!) to learn the secrets soon!

  10. Personally, I like the fairies version best, you tease you! So, are you going to write a novel soon? Seems like you have the gift for words and a fine imagination.

  11. You are such a tease, Carol! I'll let you come over and play in my snow if you'll just tell us what those five secrets are:) Is one of them "embrace weeding"??

  12. I loved this, and am going to post a link to your 5 secrets in my blog.

    A delightful read.



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