Hello Dr. Hortfreud! I didn’t expect to see you today since I’m staying inside where it is cool.
Well, there’s something I think you need to talk through so I decided to pop in for in impromptu intervention. You don’t mind, do you?
I guess it sort of depends on what the intervention is all about…
Carol, I’ll get right to it. I’ve noticed you’ve got a little flat of Sedum ternatum growing on your patio.
Oh, yes. Do you like that? I got a little pot of it from a local nursery and decided to go all retro and root some cuttings of it to make it go further.
Why is that retro, Carol? Never mind the answer, we’ll talk about that later. What I wanted to point out is how much the Sedum ternatum looks like your weed nemesis, purslane, Portulaca oleracea.
It does? Well, I guess it does a little bit. But really they are from two completely different plant families. Sedum is from the Crassulaceae family and purslane is from the Portulcaceae family. Any similarities have to be purely coincidental!
Coincidental, Carol? Are you sure? I’m getting the idea that maybe you don’t hate purslane as much as you profess to. Are you ready to eat some of it? It is very nutritious, they say.
Oh, no! I’m not going to eat any purslane. You can’t make me, even as part of my therapy! I’m going to pull it out by its roots wherever I see it growing in my garden and throw it in the trash.
Well, that could take awhile. I see you once again have a lot of it growing everywhere, especially in the vegetable garden.
Gosh, Dr. Hortfreud, didn’t you notice how hot it has been?
Yes, I have indeed noticed the heat. But that’s no excuse not to explore these issues you have.
I have issues?
Yes. Now, let’s get back to this sedum. Why again did you make cuttings?
Because my garden designer said we would be planting groundcover plants around the honey locust in the back, and that’s a big area to cover. Look how nicely it grows at the art museum.
Oh, I see. Well, maybe you could plant some purslane around the tree. You seem to have a knack for growing it.
Dr. Hortfreud! Purslane is a weed. I’m going to stick with Sedum ternatum and whatever else I can find that I like to use as a groundcover.
Well, Carol, I think you like purslane, but you can do as you please… as usual.
Thanks, Dr. Hortfreud. I have just one question.
Yes, what is it?
Are you charging me for this intervention?
Oh well, in that case I better switch from pulling out purslane the weed and start harvesting purslane the crop. Rumor has it that it is going for $4 a pound in the big city.