Dear Hortense Hoelove: Does This Drought Make Me Look Fat?

Dear Hortense Hoelove,

I think the drought made me gain weight. I used to mow the lawn at least once a week for exercise and then when it stopped raining, I didn't mow for two months. Plus, it was so danged hot out that I didn't try to go outside and move around. Gosh, chocolate tastes good in the summer time, and during fall days, too.

Never Bend Over With Your Bum Toward the Street

Dear Bum,

And what is your question? Hortense recommends you begin your winter exercise program immediately!



  1. Funny! But you should tell NBOWYBTS that chocolate tastes good all year round.

  2. This is the funniest thing I have read lately. The funny thing is that it is so true. ARGHHHH.

  3. Chocolate --- good when it is hot, good when it is cold, good when you are hungry, good when you are finished with dinner, good while hoeing, just good all round. too bad it makes us round. . .

    So, when winter comes and you have your new snow blower, how will you get your exercise?

  4. It was more of a declaration, and I completely understand. :) ~~Dee

  5. Dear Carol, You are too funny and it is too true. Pam x

    PS I thought only English folk use the word 'bum' instead of 'butt'?

  6. So true - when I lived in Ireland I blamed the rain on my not getting out and me putting on weight. Now I live in California but the summer was too hot to get out with the same result!

  7. Thank You for such a good belly laugh. This was hilarious!


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